Another Real Christmas Newsletter Excerpt....

Hi girls,

There will not be Christmas cards sent from my house this year, can't do it. But for my closest girlfriends I decided to compose a "real" Christmas card in honor of our favorite hearts at home mom, Julie Barnhill. So, here goes...

My true feelings about the reality of Christmas carols...

THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS? Also known as the twelve most stressful days when on top of our normal lives, we have to "do" Christmas.
PEACE ON EARTH? Let me think about that...mmm....NO I don't think so, my kids will be home for 16 days.
SILENT NIGHT? I doubt it, relatives coming, last minute gift wrapping, tossing and turning because I may have forgot something, and those inevitable sleepovers. .
DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR? Your husband snoring so you can sneak into bed.
JOY TO THE WORLD? Yes, I don't have to pack lunches, get up early, or help with homework for two weeks.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT!
Thanks for your true friendship all year long.

Beth

The Gratitude Campaign

It's not about politics: Democrat vs Republican vs Moderate vs Independent...
It's not about the federal budget...
It's not about talking heads on nighttime TV...

It's about REAL men...
It's about REAL women...
Sons...
Daughters...
Sacrifice...
Service...

Next time you see a man or woman clothed in the military colors of the United States of America...STOP...and take the time to express your gratitude.
It doesn't change your political views...
It doesn't balance the budget...
It doesn't shut the mouths of the endless pundits...

It's simple grace. And simply the right thing to do.

The Seattle Seahawks, in stadium at Qwest Field and on www.spiritof12.com
The Pittsburgh Steelers, in-stadium at Heinz Field
The Seattle Storm, in-arena at The Key Arena
The Seattle Supersonics, in-arena at The Key Arena
The Portland Trail Blazers, in-arena at the Rose Quarter
YouTube, www.youtube.com/gratitudecampaign
KOMO 4 News, http://www.komotv.com/home
KING 5 News, www.king5.com
AM 570 KVI, the Kirby & Co. show

My Christmas Wish List (may or may not require actual cash purchase)

• Lifetime subscription to Publishers Weekly.
• A sound machine that truly masks hotel noises.
  
• Improvisation training with the guys from Who's Line Is It.
  
• $100.00 weekly credit at Barnes & Noble for reference material (and occasional Allure magazine.)
  
• MacBook Pro (as lightweight as possible) loaded with a gadzillion bytes of MacPro-stuff which can NOT be messed around with and/or otherwise inadvertently erased by a twelve-year old formerly referred to as "my son."
• All my lost email files, folders, and sub-folders; see also, above
  
• Lifetime working relationship with patient GeekSquad type man or woman who can teach me how to use (i.e. turn on) my MacBook Pro
• Ditto patient Blackberry type
  
• All published works/writing/musings of:
  
• Dr. Francis Schaeffer
• Frederick Buechner
• Dietrich Bonhoeffer
• 7N580 Wagontire Rd., St. Charles, IL (Hey, every girl needs a place to call home)
  
• Airbrush make-up tool for use with High-Def cameras and TV screens.
  
• In-home studio tricked out with all the broadcasting tools and high-quality details for recording and hosting a radio show
• Official home office completely set apart from the rest of my domestic domain (i.e. a place I can lock the door and no one can get in!)
  
• Warehousing all print/audio/video material with a third party; no more shipping details! no more delivery fiasco!
  
• Hire top-tier people to produce branding media concepts (which are about to make my brain explode.)
  
• Snappy set of virtually indestructible "I Can Spot It Four Conveyor Belts Away!" lime green luggage.
• A new Bible--a retro version with wide margins and blank pages for documenting life, faith, and everything in-between
  
• Lifetime supply of Pepsi
• Entire audio teaching library of Dr. James MacDonald
• 300 cc's of Restylane

Just Say "YES!" to Ordinary Christmas Letters

Enough of those long-winded, read-how-fabulous-and-extraordinary my family is Christmas card newsletters/epistles! For the past eleven months I've encouraged tens of thousands of women (because we seem to be the wackos creating most of those fictionalized newsletters; not men) to write an altogether delightfully real update this Season. Here's one such real world example. God bless us everyone!

Merry Christmas 2007! We've had a wonderful year! My kids' favorite hobby seems to be disintegrating me into a screaming maniac these days. I've discovered a new 'escape' though;
I lock myself in the bathroom and pretend the pounding on the door is a passing car with a good sound system.

I've read a lot about 'Cocktail playgroups' and so I'm thinking of starting one in January if I can muster up enough energy. With all my "free time" as a stay at home mom, I've started reading a new series of books without pictures, in between watching Oprah and eating bon-bons, much to the envy of my working friends.

My new best friend, the pest control guy, stops by once a month for a chat about 'grooming insects vs. non-grooming insects', which is the highlight of my adult conversation as long as you don't count the postman. Mine just returned from three weeks of sick leave. I really missed her. The replacement guy just isn't friendly. I'm glad she came back, I was about to sabotage the washer so I could talk to the repairman.

Well, I have to go now, Oprah's almost on, and I need to brush my teeth and get dressed before the kids and my husband get home, I may even start dinner if I can find the phone number for the pizza guy.

GADS!

My apologies...a glitch in my system hasn't allowed me to post to my blogspot for three weeks now. But I'm back and just in time for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Here's a quick one tough mother thought as you load up your van today and hit those 4:00 am sales for whacked-out consumers (btw, I'm way to old for such a thing--I'll amble my way in around December 23rd and find something that works for everyone on my list) and it is this: Don't lose your mind during these next four weeks! Don't try and make up for all relational dsyfunction by charging gifts you can't afford for people you don't particularly like and say no, and say it often...

"No, I'm not buying you the New! Improved! Nintendo/PlayStation/Strawberry Shortcake Galactic-Mafia-Be-a-Pimp-for-a-Day game station and accompanying $125.00 games!"

"No, we will not event attempt to hit five different homes with five different sets of relatives in a five-hour time frame!"

"No, we will not feel guilty about the above no."

"No, I'm not going to count the carb/fat/calorie levels of the plate in front of me...or someone else!"

"No, I will not choose to defile the sanctity of the holiday dinner table hour to hash out all my pent-up issues with my brother and/or sister."

Fright Night

More likely to resemble a paparazzi snapshot at tmz.com today's Halloween get-up for girls is frightening. Scarier yet, parents actually buy this junk. Forget the days of princesses and tiara's--you're more likely to spot a wanna-be Paris Hilton decked out in incarceration-stripes with accompanying plunging neckline and cropped up-to-there hemline. Needless to say--but I will anyway--when it comes to sense and sensibility during Halloween the less your ten-year old daughter resembles someone off the cover of a tabloid the better.

BIG NEWS: Me and DC's NUMBER ONE Morning Radio: The Jack Diamond Show

Kicking off November 7th at 7:20 EST, this One Tough Mother will join the fabulous programming team at 107.3 FM with refeshingly real, slightly irreverent, but always relevant expert parenting advice.

And what a show this is my friend: NUMBER ONE with women 25-54 (MY PEOPLE!) and top three with persons 25-54. Trust me, it doesn't get much better than this!

Stay tuned for more information and be sure to listen LIVE! November 7th via radio or internet
connection.