When Life & Faith Fall Apart

Julie's Advice for "I Booked My First Gig!!" Speakers

1. The audience is for you. Unless it's a crowd of 7th graders, then? well, it can get kinda ugly.

2. Only YOU know what you did or did not say, did or did not prepare. This is no time for confession. Leave that to your Priest or time with a girlfriend afterwards.

3. It's 45-60 minutes, not 72 hours. You don't have to say everything, even if everything is stupendous.

4. Do what you need to do to prepare. Me? I have to be alone prior to speaking; I can sit at a meal or table but much prefer not doing such when at all possible. I'm an extrovert par excellence but to nail it speaking wise I have to quiet my thoughts. I don't even like The Husband or my kids (good lord, NOT the kids) being around me. No talking is my preference and then.....*BOOM* I unleash it on the audience. 

5. Wear NORMAL clothes. Don't go get all JLo, or Sister Mary Katherine, or The Woman Who Knocked Off CATO. Unless you're normally JLo, Sister Mary Katherine, or a CATO knock-off.

6. Wear comfortable shoes. If they're not, take them off prior to speaking. Or during, as has been the case a time or two in my life. If your feet hurt, well, your face is probably going to show it.

7. DO NOT use vocabulary words with which you're unfamiliar. Stick to your usual street talk.

8. DO NOT listen to recordings of "The Speaker Who Most Intimidates Me In The Entire Freakin' World!!!!!!!" It's hard to be authentically you when you're mentally judging yourself mid-point, "Geesh! Ann Voskamp would have NEVER settled for a 2 syllable word there!"

9. Don't do Power Point unless you're really, really, good with PP.

10. On second thought: don't do PP.

10. Just say, "Thank you," when a woman approaches you and say, "I enjoyed what you had to so much." Don't apologize for not being "The Speaker Who Most Intimidates Me In The Entire Freakin' World!" Don't feel like you have to say, "To God be the Glory." I mean you can, because it's true but sometimes it's just a passive-aggressive Bible-ly way to say the aforementioned apology.

11. DO NOT listen to a recording of yourself. Other speakers will disagree but seriously, it's your first gig. I say presume you did well unless the entire audience gets up and walks out. And even then, well, it could be "The Speaker Who Most Intimidates Me In The Entire Freakin' World" has set up a table selling his/her books across the street and just sent a tweet inviting everyone over for a signed *FREE* copy. 

* If the final tip doesn't make sense private msg and I'll help you out.
#Advice4Speakers #AnnVoskamp #MarkDriscoll #TriedAndTrueWisdom

On A Not So Minor Midlife Crisis

I think I had a not-so-minor midlife crisis. (Had, past tense). 

My agent says it's been seven-years of me figuring out who I am including the five since I had a book published. (And she's still my agent, can you believe that? I do love my Esther.) 

My husband would hazard a guess of 4.5 years of my being in a funk. (Of which, about this time last year, he advised, "Get out of it." The man tries, he truly tries.)  :)

And me? Well, all I know for sure is there's been some pretty "meh" months and years as (cliche alert!) dreams were shattered over and over again. Decidedly "in a funk" mentality of heart, mind, and spirit, as I grieved over said shattering and wrestled a mother of a parenting bear with The Teenager. Hard days, weeks, and months. Even more difficult nights wondering if any of it would turn out not awful.

I resettled into our current home; took time to decorate--to be a Homemaker and did my best to create a safe haven for all of us to land in-between those COPS-cringe worthy scenes between parent/child; child/child.

I had time to not write; time to not be "on deadline"; time to not chase airport concourses & gates; time to veg...oh, let me be not-so-minor crisis honest...time to be inert. Lazy. A toad.

And it's been what I needed whether I knew I needed it or not.

But I'm ready for something other.
No, something familiar, yet new.
I'm ready to re-embrace the living proof details of My Former Professional Life; details which make it cackle with life and purpose.

I'm ready to be (again) who I've always been in the totality of life: An Entertainer.

So here's to writing funny.
Here's to speaking funny.
Here's to developing "sets" and venturing into straight-up comedy.
Here's to making women laugh so hard they snort.

Here's to being me, again. #MidLifeCrisis #FunnyAgain

That's Life, Take 2

So, I'm pulling details together and getting back on track when it comes to fresh & lively "That's Life!" w/Julie vblogs and (soon, and very soon) dedicated podcasting. Yay! Podcasts. As I get those details in-line, please enjoy archive postings. #ThatsLifewJulie

I Don't Do Devotions

Paging All Morning Devotions Rebels and/or Slackers!! 

Don't know about you but I've always been a Morning Devotions rebel--actually, I shudder at the term "devotions." Why? Too, too, too! prescriptive and scripted for my learning & teaching style liking. Especially when said devos fall into a fill-in-the-blank booklet or, "What is God telling you to do, think, say, RIGHT NOW! pressure. Uh, "Put this devotion down while my blows up?" :)

Nope.
Not.gonna.happen. (Just ask some of my college roommates.)
Hence the Slacker state of my mornings.

I've found my focus groove over the years and know I learn, consider, and INHALE the teaching of Scripture and the application thereof, most effectively by the process of listening--note taking--and mulling thoughts that are magnificently deeper, broader, and challenging than the sad little manufactured response I feel pressured to scribble down on that blasted "fill-in-the-blank" line. :) 

As such, I invite you to join me and Dr. Ravi Zacharias for ANYTHING BUT mundane, pedestrian, or dull. Plus, the compelling cadence and inflection of Dr. Z's voice is such that he could say, 

     "I love bologna sandwiches,"

And you'd be all, "Oooooh, that's deep."  

Devo Option That Won't Make Your Head Explode - Let My People Think w/Dr. Ravi Zacharias

Dear Parent of a Teenager or Adult Child who has “Gone off the Rails”

In all likelihood, over the course of weeks, months, and years, you've alternately felt, believed, and/or wondered one or more of the following:

·         I'm the crappiest parent on the face of the Universe.

·         It's my fault because I _____(fill in the blank).

·         It's my fault because I didn't _____(fill in the blank).

·         How could this happen? I (we), loved her; taught him from his earliest days to respect and honor others; saw her choose to believe in Jesus Christ; corrected & disciplined him when needed; lived out an authentic faith before her; prayed for him; prayed for her; etc., infinity. 

·         (And, if you are a Christian), Where is God?

If you're there; here's some truth from a “been there” parent (um, that’s me)…

·         You're not the crappiest parent on the face of the Universe. I mean, seriously, who among us has done it all right, all the time? The answer is: no one. NO one. So how ‘bout we all agree to stop nominating ourselves for said award? And while we’re at it, stop nominating others as well.

·         It's my fault because I... Oh. My. Word. Can we just give this a rest? Can YOU just give this a rest? See, you didn't do it all right (see, also, 'crappiest parent'); you did--I did--we ALL did wrong stuff--"less-than-what-was-best" stuff. Dumb stuff. Embarrassing stuff. I get it. Now, let’s move on.

·         I/You/We...yelled, lost our temper; shut-down emotionally; worked too many hours; missed Scholastic Bowl; failed at homeschooling; cussed; lost faith; bribed a toddler; fell asleep before their curfew; etc., and infinity.

·         I/You/We didn't...make our marriage work; earn enough income to send him/her to special camps or private school; read to them as little children; always, without fail, think before we spoke; make them go to youth group; always know what to do--what to say--how to best handle a difficult situation; etc., and infinity.

·         I/You/We nostalgically review a nefarious checklist which we somehow came to believe promised non-freak-out inducing teenager and/or adult children. Nefarious enough on its own but when coupled with ever-powerful "Christian" checklist details (i.e. praying for child before they're ever conceived; church; scripture teaching; faith; 'Christian' discipline; determining proper movie/television viewing; etc.) and a Child Going Off The Rails...well, it most often leads to the alternately agonizing, desperate, and (if we're being truly honest) "This seems like a  rip-off" parental query: Where is God?

If you're there; here's truth and “been there” parent (um, that’s me, remember?) hope to keep you going:

·         God hasn't gone AWOL on you or your child. He can’t. His character won’t allow it. God's love is perpetual, unending, and eternal. (Which, by the way, annoys the heck out of all ‘Going Off The Rails’ types.)

·         None of this surprises God. Not one arrest. Not one seemingly failed rehab. Not one hellacious verbal or physical altercation. Not one lie, nor the hundreds after it.

·         All of this moves the heart of God—even as you worry yours has been hardened past the point of ever again softening toward the child you have loved and warred for & with so desperately.

     All the words you spoke into his/her life. All the truth you instilled into his/her life. All the day-by-day teaching you taught (and weren’t even aware of)…it’s all there.

There in his heart.

Her memory.

His spirit.

Don’t despair, my friend, for I promise you this—as I’ve seen its truth again and again in the lives of my own three children: God, who hasn’t gone AWOL; who isn’t surprised; and whose heart moves always, always, and “thank-you, sweet Lord!” A.L.W.A.Y.S. toward your child, even now is at work compelling your Rail Jumper back to her senses and reminding him of his true identity apart from all the garbage and mess through the power of His spirit and YOUR spoken words and teachings.

It’s all there! A venerable “How to Live Life” treasure trove of parental direction, commands, prayers, and love which can and will make a difference in their life.

"My [child], keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching. Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you."

Being There

Thinking about periods of suffering, disconnect, and/or infirmities which most, if not all, of us face. Infirmities, you ask? Yes, infirmities with its succinct definition alluding to the frailty of our human condition. Be it physical, sexual, mental, or spiritual, we all come to an end of ourselves at some time or another as the result of our story or that of someone we love. 

Today, I give thanks for the few who have walked beside me during seasons of my own infirmity--my own weakness. Some of which I brought on myself as a result of foolish sinful choices; still others simply because I loved another. I give thanks for those who have known my story; seen the ugly side of my human condition; and often times simply sat silently with me in the pain & unknowing. You know who you are and I give thanks to God for you.

Perhaps you're in such a place today. Weak. Frail. Undone. Who is sitting with you in the pain? (Please note: rhetorical question, do not feel compelled to post for all to see in BloggerLand.)

Perhaps you're able to live, walk, and sit alongside somewhere out of a such a place of experience today. If so, DO SO. Don't weary yourself researching trying to come up with the perfect scripture; best quote; or, "maybe God is allowing this because..." summation. Please. Don't. Just be there. Love with your presence and out of the experience of your own weakness rather than strength.

Thinking of and praying for YOU today, my friends.

"And every one that was in distress, and every one that was in debt, and every one that was discontented, gathered themselves unto him [David]; and he became captain over them..."