Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Behind the Book & Author

*Full-disclosure primer on books, ideas, success, speaking, falling flat on your face, insecurity, Christian competition (gasp!) and doing this writing/speaking thing all over again--and again. 

Given the recent 359 million dollar lottery winner announcement, I humbly submit the following:

In years past, I (and my marriage) suffered from the effects of C.F.F. (Chronic Financial Failure) and I wrote a book about it back in 2001--published in 2002: Til Debt Do Us Part

In the spirit of aforementioned disclosure, I confess it's not one of my favorite projects. In fact, I've likened it to a non-quandary moment most dads and moms won't admit to (out loud, anyway); and here it is: let's say you have to pick one of your children to go stay away at camp for 6, 8, even, 12-weeks.....(no-brainer pause)...for some of us the choice would be a snap. I'm just sayin. (And you know it's true!)

That's how I feel about 'Til Debt.' If I had to send one of my ten book titles away on sabbatical, well, tag! it'd be it. Hindsight, I wish I'd listened to The Husband who said again and again, "I'd wait on this, Julie." Hindsight, I wish I had admitted how the events of September 11th sent me into a spiritual tailspin; into depression; into a non-creative chasm for weeks and weeks. Hindsight I wish I would have said aloud what I dared only to whisper: "Why does this book matter when our entire country is a terrorist target?!"

But I didn't listen. I didn't wait. I didn't speak aloud. Instead, I rushed forward with a one-book-under-my-belt-new-author mentality; determined to land another publishing contract before editors and publishers lost interest or the world itself imploded as did those two towers.

It's not a bad book, mind you. It's simply one written "in the middle" of experience and as such there are scathingly vulnerable admissions which sorta knock me on my rear upon reading ten+ years later. When doing just that (re-reading), I'm left intermittently laughing out loud (yes, I'm a dork and I make myself laugh), gasping in response to some audacious emotional/relational reveal, and giving thanks for 'Til Debt's book spawn presence despite the job--for better or for worse--I did raising & writing it.

What about you? Are there any specific things you'd "re-do" or "not do" in light of what you know now or, given the perspective of time?